Thread: Need Help : My Love

Hi,
I don't what to say but i seriously need a help from u guyz..
My problem is different but i really really need ur help my friends..

i loved a girl..she is a good friend of mine..she knows that i love her..but she was a relationship with a guy..the guy is shit..last 3 months they broke up..the guy even don't care for her..nd now the guy is trying to come to her life again..nd i always want to see my love happy..the only think is care in my life is she..nd now she is asking me what to do? nd all time i just say dat just go for the guy..nd she is always telling me that no she can't go for the relation..i always asked her is she is happy with dat..nd she tells me that don't be so sad for me i'm ok, i know u always be with me..

i don't undersatnd what to do..what not to do..i'm tired with this..plz help me..what to do?

i really loved her..plz suggest me..i'm dying..



Thanks..sorry for my bad english

It's hard to see someone in a situation that you don't think is good for them. Doubly so since you love/loved her.

You'd get different advice if you had said that you wanted to chase her yourself. You imply that you just want to be supportive. So as hard as it may be for you, you shouldn't try to 'fix' the situation or steer her course. Right or wrong, she is going to follow her heart for now and maybe make her own mistakes. The best advice is to simply be there for her. Listen to her, let her know that she has a safe refuge, be supportive. Don't tell her that she should go for the guy since you don't believe that. But don't try to talk her out of it either. Mostly just be there for her and if she asks, remind her that he hasn't treated her well. And leave it at that.

Anything else will just make more of a mess.

It's really hard to help someone out that is in a bad relationship. If you say negative things about the person they are interested in, they are likely to avoid you so they can get what they want at the time, which is the other guy.

Being in love with a female friend who is interested in other guys isn't any fun either. I'm guessing from your description that you are interested in a relationship with her, but she isn't interested in having that sort of relationship with you, at least not yet. And you are a cool guy so you want whatever is best for her, and since she's not dating you, that means you want her to date nice guys and to have good relationships with them.

That means you should do exactly what copper suggested, and try to stay out of her relationship, except as someone for her to come talk to.
But that isn't your main goal, right? You'd like to date this girl.

What you want to avoid is a large imbalance in the relationship. I would avoid telling her how much you love her and how you will always be there for her. If she isn't showing interest in you, fawning over her will just drive her further away. A lot of girls like to have guy friends that are in love with them, but they generally don't see those guys romantically. The more desperately in love with her you seem, the worse it gets.

You've got to let her figure this stuff out for herself. She's got to experience this other relationship for a bit and find out that it isn't what she wants. The crappy thing is that you are sort of pigeon holed right now into the role of the supportive guy friend that she can call when her relationship goes tits up. Someone to make her feel good again. That means you not only don't get to date her, but now you're tasked with picking up the pieces of her shambled relationships.

So again, my suggestion is that you stop telling her how much you love her all the time, and stop acting super interested in what she is doing relationship wise. Be just a regular friend for a bit, and maybe she'll come around and want to date you. You should meet some other girls in the meantime. If she sees other girls interested in you, she might realize what she is missing out on a little quicker.

Thanks copper nd oscarnater..
Brother she really care for me now these days..last day i was upset abt her nd i don't call her.. so she come to my house nd cried a lot nd said that she don't want to go the relationship again nd she want to forget the guy..also she told me that i don't ever left her alone..

You can't really rely on a forum to get support. Okay, we may provide you with support for your sadness, but one thing I'm sure: everyone has been there, and everyone learned how to get out, either with the girl or moving on.

Just follow your heart, but do your best to conquer her if you really love her. That way you'll be sure that you did your best and if you not end up together, then it wasn't supposed to be that way.

Good luck mate.