Thread: Failure of my life

Originally Posted by WestingFenn

hahaha... Sorry mates thought you'd like that little piece of literature :)

I did. I like the juxtaposition of computer life and real life. It almost read like a Douglas Adams story; and everyone knows how much I like Douglas Adams. Seriously, it's a good read. You should try to do some other things in this same style.

Originally Posted by AfterMidnight

I did. I like the juxtaposition of computer life and real life. It almost read like a Douglas Adams story; and everyone knows how much I like Douglas Adams. Seriously, it's a good read. You should try to do some other things in this same style.

Ya I second that, I liked the comparison of the fox running through your defenses to firefox =)

Thanks guys... AfterMidnight that really meant a lot coming from you.

I'm not sure I get your point, you need to break it down into paragraphs.

I suffer with bi-polar disorder, so I get part of your thread, but if you want to make a point that others will get. You need to make it more digestable.

Originally Posted by guy

I'm not sure I get your point, you need to break it down into paragraphs.

I suffer with bi-polar disorder, so I get part of your thread, but if you want to make a point that others will get. You need to make it more digestable.

Guy makes a good suggestion; your story definitely could have used a little breaking up. (Remember that I liked the story and this is only constructive criticism). Try to keep your paragraphs limited to five sentences or so. If possible, try to link the end of one paragraph to the beginning of the next. If that's not possible, just continue the thought in the next paragraph as if you'd never broken t he thought. You'll know you're getting better at it when each paragraph is its own mini short story.

Again, I liked it. Write more.