Hey that's what we're here for! This forums like a family and if one family members sad, then we all are. I thought you were but didn't want to say until you said. If this is your first loss, then its going to be the hardest. Like i've already said, it doesn't get easier. It only gets easier to control your emotions and try and move on.
What i did to help when my grandfather died was. Take a long walk ,on my own along a quiet path on a cold day. And just think about everything. Doesn't matter if you cry or laugh about all the good times you've shared. I preferred this to staying at home where i'd see my parents and sister crying non-stop.
Sam









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