Thread: Asked a HOT Girl out on a Date...

I wanted to talk about something that happened to me a few months back that has me a bit perplexed. Maybe get some feedback from you guys…


There is this trainer girl at my gym that I was very attracted to. This girl is a bit of a tomboy, but has a very nice body and average face. She is a bit shy, but not really shy.. more like stand-offish. This can be read as not very personable as well. At least to the people she doesn't know. Anyway…


One day she was on a cardio machine so I walked up and struck up a bit of a conversation. We had already had a previous introduction days earlier at times I would ask her for a spot on an exercise I was doing so I knew her name and she knew mine. One other thing I found interesting is that when we greeted each other, she would never use my name. Maybe she forgot it - I don't know. She isn't the easiest person in the world to read.


OK so back to the conversation…


I talked to her for only a few minutes and then went ahead with my workout not thinking much of it. I tend to move kind of slow when I get to know someone. I like to build familiarity before I ask someone out. So now here is where it gets interesting. A few minutes later after she finished her cardio session, she came over to me and re-initiated the conversation back up again. I was a bit stunned as this was completely outside her character - at least as I knew it. I was still trying to just gauge whether or not she was even interested in me at all. I took this as a good sign and we talked for about 15 minutes or so about various things. It felt fantastic!




So another week went by and we chatted a bit here and there - she is usually very busy with clients, training and other gym related business. One morning I saw her again on a cardio machine so I took the one next to her and we chatted for a bit. I decided this was the time to ask her to lunch so I did. She immediately smiled and said "Sure, we can do that." - Again I was elated to get a yes. It felt fantastic.


Now for the wrinkle…


20 minutes later she comes up to me with a somewhat detached look on her face and says, "Thanks for the offer, but I don't think I should mix business with pleasure." Then she walks away. So immediately I am a bit floored. If she had this policy of no dating people from the gym then why say yes to begin with? It was a big let down, but I understood. Here's the part where I don't understand… Ever since that day, she goes out of her way to avoid me in the gym. She barely says hello, and only does it when we are passing each other in the hallway, forced to either totally ignore me or look me in the face and say "Good Morning". It's as if she is upset with me for some reason. Very strange considering we barely know each other.


I have a couple of theories…


In the time after she said yes to my lunch proposal she may have looked me up online and maybe saw that I live with a girl (she's only my roommate though). So now maybe she thinks I'm a cheater. There is also the possibility she looked me up and saw my age was very different than hers. She is certainly younger than I am, but I have no idea exactly what her age is. But even still… it's not like she didn't see me plenty enough to see if I was too old for her. My last theory is that maybe she just got scared and is fearful I might stalk her or something if she encourages me by being too friendly. Since that day I asked her out, we have not spoken at all. I pretty much avoid her as much as she avoids me.


So what do you guys think?

i think you should count yourself lucky, you two did not go out!
look at it this way, you two have not even gone out, yet there is already drama between you two.
just imagine the possible drama had you gone out with her?

Originally Posted by cdcmaximus

i think you should count yourself lucky, you two did not go out!
look at it this way, you two have not even gone out, yet there is already drama between you two.
just imagine the possible drama had you gone out with her?

You may be totally right.

Normally I'm ok with drama... when I know what it's about, but in this case it's a mystery.

On many occasions I have contemplated just going up to her and asking her if I did something wrong or I did something to upset her, but it just seems so strange to say something like that to someone I barely know. I still might do it, but I haven't worked up the courage yet.

Are you interested because you like her or because she turned you down? It never hurts to ask, just be prepared to be honest and answer any questions she might ask, e.g. about your roommate, age, etc. Worst case scenario you find out what the reason is and you can move on.

It is also perfectly plausible that in between your "talk" she asked a colleague what the company policy is and found out that she really should not be dating clients. That was my first assessment. It's hard to tell the nuances of your conversation, the lunch question, then the turn down. Without being actually there or knowing either of you. If it is innocent the follow-on reactions are normal.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Yea she may have just said "Yes" initially to not hurt my feelings and then used the other excuse to get out of it. But I have a hard time reconciling that with the girl who showed so much interest with her initiating such a conversation with me and her body language and everything really expressed interest in my eyes. Maybe my compass is just totally off.

I dont think the company told her not to date people in the gym as she isn't an employee but a contractor. Plus I'm not even one of her clients.

My interest in her initially was just because she seemed to have a mystery about her with her somewhat aloof demeanor. I really liked her body language and just kept seeing her and thinking about her. My interest grew even more when she started to come out of her shell a bit.

No, I'm certainly not interested in her because she turned me down. It just would have been so much easier to forget about it and move on if she hadn't said Yes in the first place.