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Re: SeedStorm | 400GB | 200Mbps/1Gbps | rTorrent/Deluge | 2 Slots | 3 days
I loled hard at this one XD
EDIT: After checking the jokes posted before mine it turns out that a similar one was posted above.. sorry didn't check before posting it :\
"One day in the forest, 3 guys were just hiking along a trail when all of a sudden, a huge pack of indians attacked them and knocked them out.
When they woke up, they were at the leader of the tribe's throne.
The chief then said "All of your lives may be spared if you can find ten of one fruit and bring them back to me."
So after a while the first man returned with 10 apples. The chief then ordered him to stick all ten of them up his butt without making any expression at all on his face. He had a little bit of trouble with the first one and started crying while trying to put the next one in. He was soon killed.
Later, the next guy came in with 10 grapes. The chief soon ordered him to do the same as the first guy. He shoved up the first one with no trouble then the second until he reached the 9th grape, then the man started laughing so hard for no apparent reason, so eventually he was killed.
The first two guys soon met in heaven and the first guy ask the second, "Why did you laugh?! You almost had it!" The second guy answered while still laughing, "I couldn't help it. I saw the other guy walking in with pineapples."
And here are two more:
"Mr. bean went to a hospital and saw a kid crying:
Mr.bean: hey, why are you crying?
boy: am here for a blood test.....*continues to cry*
Mr.bean: aaaww!!! u must be scared huh??
boy: yes!!! during the blood test, they will cut my finger,,
Mr.bean: REALLY??...*Mr.bean starts to cry*
boy: why are you crying?
Mr.bean: i was here for a urine test!!"
"A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.
The sign reads, 'If you can catch me, you can have me.'
Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.
He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, 'If you catch me, you can have me'.
Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape. Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.
'Are you sure?' asks the representative on the phone, 'This is our most rigorous program.'
'Absolutely,' he replies, 'I haven't felt this good in years.'
The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, 'If I catch you, your ass is mine.'
He lost 74 pounds..."
And here's my speed test =)
