Thread: Love marriage vs Arranged Marriage

The western world may probably not even heard about arranged marriage.. But arranged marriage is a practice where marriage is arranged mostly by the parents of the couple to be wed with their consent.. The stats seem to suggest that divorce rates with arranged marriages are much less when compared to love rmarriages.. I thought this would serve to be a good topic to talk about pals .. What say ??

LOL...hmmmm

I guess i'm not sure i could marry someone, by someone else setting it up and i hardly get to know the girl...she'd have to be mega fit
You gotta know if your compatible and that takes a little time...but i guess it could work depending on the commitment to make it work between the two and that relies quite heavily on the culture your brought up with also..

Another thing to also consider is to what extent it's fixed...i previously worked with a guy who had been fixed up with someone but before they decide and say yes for marriage, they go out and get to know 1 another for quite some time....works out quite like dating, but just that it's quite a bit shorter and your expected to give an answer about getting married which i guess plays on your mind the whole time lol

Would be cool if we got a few true life accounts of this tho..

I agree that it relies totally on the culture in which he is bought up.. But I feel that its better to be engaged for at least 3-4 months before taking the plunge.. But what baffles me most is that divorce rates is much higher in love marriages than arranged.. Doesnt makes sense.. Does it??

I actually had a discussion about this some weeks ago. Im not sure if this is for all arranged marriages but....what my friend told me was that you arent FORCED to marry the person. You just hook up with whoever your parents set you up with and if you like them ... well you know what comes next.

It totally depends on the religion you are in, I'm pretty sure a fair percentage of Indian people are in forced marriages

Whereas in 90% of the world people find their own true love and settle down to personal preference

Well, according to the Black's Law dictionary's definition of marriage, it has nothing to do with love. Don't just take my word for it. Go check for yourself. I personally would rather be with someone I am in love with, but statistics show that arranged marriages are far more successful than the traditional American love marriage. Arranged marriages make sense to me because a man and woman are supposed to come together for survival. A fleeting emotion such as love should not be the deal breaker. A sense of duty, which is one of the motivating factors in arranged marriages is far more important in my opinion. A consideration of bloodlines comes into play also. In arranged marriages the history of the two people involved is clear. Their upbringing is clear. They have everything in common unless one of them was tainted by outside influences. So, without sitting here rambling all day, I would say the arranged marriage is better in many, many ways.

you also need to realize that most countrys where they still do have arranged marriages divorce is looked down on and for alot of people simply not an option. Ive known a few people in arranged marriages where both partners see other people and basically live as friends and its only really to keep their familys happy

Im sure if you looked into how many of those people are actually truly happy in their marriage the stats would be totally different

more than 80% people will vote for love marriage. i also did the same. i haven't married till now. But i would really like it if my mom chooses my bride. I don't know whats going to happen to me in the future. So i really dont care about it now...

Another thing to also consider is to what extent it's fixed...i previously worked with a guy who had been fixed up with someone but before they decide and say yes for marriage, they go out and get to know 1 another for quite some time....works out quite like dating, but just that it's quite a bit shorter and your expected to give an answer about getting married which i guess plays on your mind the whole time lol

I am happy with this type situation. I am the youngest and i have 2 more big brother. both of them are married. My parents and relatives searched and chked many girls then then they selected a few. after that my parents told my bros to meet up, chose and make a decision. Bros were happy and it seems the girls they choose and their family was also happy with us. then they married each other. Both of my brothers wife living with us now and it seems they are bit happy.

before my biggest bro's marriage going to held, i saw my bro and his future wife in a supermarket. They are shopping for there marriage. they seems happy with their decision. I returned home and asked my mom..."Is this a arrange marriage or love marriage? She smiled and asked me, "why u are asking this?" . I replied "they became so lovey-dovey everyone will say the same now..."

you also need to realize that most countrys where they still do have arranged marriages divorce is looked down on and for alot of people simply not an option. Ive known a few people in arranged marriages where both partners see other people and basically live as friends and its only really to keep their familys happy

Im sure if you looked into how many of those people are actually truly happy in their marriage the stats would be totally different

Its sad but true and I totally agree with u. I am ok with arrange marriage but i really hate forced marriage. Boy and girl should have their own opinion and they must willingly agree to marry each other.

It totally depends on the religion you are in, I'm pretty sure a fair percentage of Indian people are in forced marriages
Whereas in 90% of the world people find their own true love and settle down to personal preference

Moonstone its not the religion but the culture and society. Trust me, if u r an indian, we dont differ that much here. but lately the situation has improved a lot.

Lastly i want to say it wont matter after ur marriage. Cause i believe if u can keep ur family happy and love and care for them from the bottom of ur heart, I am sure that will meet the expectation of any wife or parents.

personally i would prefer love marriage over arranged marriage !! ofc for the obvious reasons like its my life...nd i have full authority to choose the right person.. and then the compatibility, the understanding which develops before one takes the 'marriage' step ... but in many countries like india.. where one lives in a joint family... or where each and every relationship is given equal importance... whether its your maternal or paternal uncle or aunt. In these countries.. the customs, traditions and lifestyle in general... is dependent and is deeply involved with every family member and every relative... so in all i want to say that family plays a lot important part in the lives of a couple... you just dont marry a girl... you are equally involved with the other family.. and their relatives too... i dont say in western countries...u arnt involved.. i just say that even if one lives with his/her wife/husband alone... but then also.. one is involved as if one is in a joint family [i aint criticising nor being sarcastic] .... so people prefer arrange marriages over love marriages as then the boys whole family checks their compatibility with the girls family and vice-versa... so that in the coming time ... they do not have problems with each others family... this is the reason arrange marriages are preferred!!

the above reasoning is for about modern families even.. who prefer arrange marriages.. and i did not include the caste system and practices related to it... as i do not agree with arranged marriage on basis of reasoning of similar caste and all...

now in the above reasoning.. one of the major flaw is that the families just sidetrack the interests of the boy and the girl!! i mean even if they are equally good in every aspect, that does not mean they will be happy after marriage.. i just feel that they need their time to understand each other before marriage...

and i read in the above comments that there can be a solution to this.. that the girl and boy are not directly married... they are given some time to decide... but personally saying.. that time is not sufficient and moreover it involves the 2 families' so-called feelings... and the society's pressure... so i guess that this is also not a very good solution.

so a perfect solution is still love marriage... i mayb wrong in saing it perfect.. but thats what i feel!